This is so Hard!

I’m not normally one to complain about things or worry to much about anything… But these 3 months have been a test… One I wouldn’t normally do.

I have never wanted something so much! let alone want someone so much! I have gone from not really looking for anything or anyone to Falling in Love with what can only be described as the most amazing guy in the world.

I have never felt like this for anyone… But the hard times start soon. He moves here in 2 weeks… and I’m so stressed about him being able to stay. I know what we need to do and how to go about it but it lyes in the back of my mind… I want this some much… so fucking much! and I’m scared that its going to be taken away from me from powers I cant control.  I know we need to get our heads down and not let it get to me!

I’m so excited for our time ahead.. living life together and just hanging out! He is the 1st guy I have ever met that my Best Friends likes and they both get on like a house on firer…. You don’t understand just how much this means to me! Jay is a huge part of my life and to have them get on just makes things so complete… kinda make me relise that this is the one for me.

Me and Alby just hanging out feels so right… Messing about on the Playstation (kicking his ass at Teken) or just chillin watching TV… It just feels right… like we don’t need to talk just being with each other is enough!… I have never had this and fuck it feels so great! The things that Im feeling and discovering are just beautiful..  I really have found someone that is truly worth the time and effort and more.

What makes me feel safe is how just how unselfish he really is. He makes me feel so good always says the right things that make me calm down if I feel doubt about something or unsure of things. Its been such a short space of time yet so right. People say to me am I rushing things but I really don’t feel like I am… With other people It might be rushing but then I have never been like this with anyone before… and it seems like the right pace.

  1. ldnchaos posted this